RIP Unsay Moon.

It was a fiery accident. It was tragic. Unsay Moon is no more.

An update on my mysterious life.

Any time I take a break that is both prolonged and unannounced, I like to explain why to my readers upon returning. I feel that they deserve an explanation, especially since some folks actually do check back periodically to see if I've posted anything new, only to be disappointed when they find that I haven't.

I moved not too long ago, about 20ish miles north of my hometown (and my prior residence). I'm getting a good deal on rent and the view is breathtaking, but I'll still have to drive 30 miles one way to get to school. Ouch! It's worth it for the deal I'm getting, though. Definitely. But I've been overwhelmed - not only am I trying to get stuff done around my house, I've also been struck with the creative bug as of late. I've been creating a lot of music, though I won't tell you what instruments or style of music I play.

It hasn't been all I've also had to deal with the days when depression makes me not feel like doing a damned thing. Unfortunately, though I thought I'd cast it off for good, it's returned. It's not as bad as it used to be - I'm much stronger and have a completely new outlook on life - but it's definitely affecting my emotions. I plan on seeing a doctor soon; I may be starting medication again. Hopefully, this will lead to a dramatic improvement in my motivation. There are so many things I want to get done! I hoped it would never come to this point again, but I've decided that I'm going to treat it before it worsens. When I was suffering from it before, it was much worse. I don't want to get locked in that state of mind again.

But my life's not all depression - in fact, most of it is looking rather good. I've got all A's thus far in all of my classes (giving me a 4.0 for the duration of my stay at this particular college). I'm about to start classes at my new school and, hopefully, finish up my bachelor's without too much more delay. I'm excited and positive.

I also just transferred to a new location with my job. I had to drive quite a distance since I moved, so I recently started working at a closer store (it's a huge national chain). So far, my hours are right where I need them to be. I'm still getting used to the people there - it's a COMPLETELY different environment, just a different mixture of people altogether! I used to be so antisocial it was ridiculous; now I find myself socializing with ease. It's really funny how things change sometimes.

I'm still madly in love. We're coming up on 4 months together (in less than a week) and, I must admit, I've had my doubts about her. We've had several pretty significant fights which culminated in our questioning whether we were both dedicated and willing to put effort into this relationship. Over the course of those 4 months, we've both been wrong. I've had reason to be angry at her; she's had just as much reason to be angry at me. But what matters is today - where we are now. I love her, and if things go well I'll get to sleep with her in my bed tomorrow night (a very rare treat for me). I could find happiness without her, but I wouldn't want to. I think she may just be the girl I've been waiting for - the girl I never thought would arrive.

With her by my side, life isn't half as dark.

Advice on writing.

I posted this in a forum I frequent (not telling which one!) in response to a user's request for advice regarding what to write about - she claimed she had writer's block. Here's my response - I thought it was worth posting:

Try googling "memes". Look for books of prompts at a bookstore or library in the writing section. Take a normal event and describe it in an extravagant way. Take an extraordinary event and make it sound mundane. Write a sonnet. Write a limerick. Write a haiku. Think of an idea, perhaps love or war or biology, and brainstorm for five minutes words relating to or which remind you of that idea; then try using some or all of those words in a poem. There will never be too many love poems; write one of those. Write a poem about war. Try to describe to yourself what it means to understand, to learn, to miss somebody. Write a list of things that you want to do tomorrow. Write a list of things you want to have done by a year from now. Write about your favorite vacation, your secret hideaway, the imaginary place in the back of your mind. Invent an imaginary friend, put yourself in their shoes, live an imaginary life, and then write about your day in an imaginary journal. Write about a murder. Write about a birth. Write about a car crash, or about a graduation. Write about your favorite song - paraphrase the lyrics, or try to say the same thing in completely different words. Hit three random keys on your keyboard, then make those the first letters of three different lines in a poem. Think about the most painful thing that's ever happened to you - then write about it. Rant and rave, whine, complain. Write about your worst nightmare or your most beloved dream.

Just write - it doesn't have to be poetry. It could be free verse, or a short story, or a journal entry. WRITE. The more you write, the more bad stuff you'll produce, thus allowing you to get to the good stuff. We've all got bad writings in us - it's a matter of moving BEYOND them.

If you can't take something away from this post, directly or indirectly, you're not meant to be a writer. Sometimes inspiration is in short supply - even then, that's something to write about. Write what comes to mind. If nothing comes to mind, write that. Eventually, if you do this enough, you'll end up with something useful. Look around you - there's probably easily a hundred different things within reach or sight. Write about one of those things. Have you ever red "The Red Wheelbarrow" by William Carlos Williams? The poem is somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 words long - FIFTEEN WORDS! - and it's one of the most popular contemporary pieces of poetry. About a wheelbarrow. Take an object and infuse it with special meaning or a deeper significance. Think beyond the right now - think into the past. Maybe your stapler has been around a while - think of all that it's stapled. Write about that.

That's the end of my advice. Please feel free to add or message me (this goes for you and any other fellow poets reading) if you find my advice to be of some use to you. I hope this serves you well, and I look forward to reading some of your writing in the near future! Remember - there is no "right" length for a poem, no "proper" subject for a story - you're in control of those factors.

Write on.

I Hear Them Hunting In The Night

Here's a new poem, for those of you who still stop by to check on the exploits and adventures of Mr. Unsay Moon. It's called "I Hear Them Hunting In The Night". I won't tell you what inspired it (though I think it rather obvious); I'm interested in reading some interpretations.

I Hear Them Hunting In The Night

They're out and on the run tonight
They thirst for blood and flesh to fight
If you should set out from your home
They'll pick your meat clean from the bones

The wind whips 'cross the misty moor
I hear them howling at my door
Though them the dark does wholly hide
Their haunting shrills breed chills inside

The rain attacks in panicked blasts
Across the roof it taunts and taps
Are those just drops or falling feet?
I'll go insane before I fall asleep

Lightning flashes; I briefly see
On a hillside not so far from me
They're stalking, silent, through the weeds
Gliding, ghostlike, past the trees

They're creeping ever closer now
I hope my locks will hold them out
Ears perked up, spine frozen in fright
I hear them hunting in the night.

An inspirational quote

Nelson Mandela once said that "[t]he greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." I agree wholly; I'm living this situation right now.

Last year, while attending a different university than the college I'm currently enrolled in, I burned out completely. I gave up on my education. I had no motivation and certainly no goals. I threw in the towel and quit going to my classes - without even bothering to drop them. I decided I would simply drop out of school and start working for a living; it seemed like that was my only choice. I didn't feel that I was cut out for school, a delusion considering I ranked among the top of my class from K-12. I got a cruel taste of reality when the job I assumed I would easily attain was nowhere to be found. I felt like a pile of ashes.

But, like a phoenix, I rose. I thought I'd reached the end of the line, that there was no hope; and yet still I pressed on. I changed the way I think about myself and about life, pushing out as much negativity as I could to make room for the positive. I signed up for a full load of classes (16 hours, to be exact) at my local community college. I studied harder, possibly, than I've ever studied for anything else. And you know what happened? I got straight A's, three of which directly replaced the F's I'd earned at my previous university. I took an online class over the wintermester, maintained a steady focus, and pulled yet another A. I've got a pretty full schedule again this semester (13 hours), and as it stands right now, I'm on track to get A's. At this particular school, at least, I will have earned a 4.0. It would be much more impressive if that were a cumulative GPA, but a 4.0 from any angle is something to be proud of. And I am.

I'm returning to the school I left last year to finish up my BA. I will be starting this summer, May 18. I cannot wait. I intend on making the best with my new vantage point on life; while I'm not naive enough to think that A's will be as easily produced on the university level as at community college, I am still shooting for A's nonetheless.

We are humans. We are designed to fall, whether we like it or not. It's part of life; none among us is perfect. Indeed, there is no glory in assuring that you never fall, for such a thing is impossible. However, the learning and growing experiences you are exposed to in rising again after being beaten down are nothing short of glorious. The sense of self-satisfaction you achieve in succeeding where you once seemed destined to fail is remarkable.

I don't look forward to falling again, or making any mistakes, but I know that it will happen. I accept it. The best I can do is to make sure that I always get right back up on my feet every time I'm knocked off of them. To do so is to read a richer, much happier life.

-Unsay Moon

e e cummings: a response

I found a journal prompt blog called ...in other words... which features a quote that I, the writer, am asked to respond to. Here's this week's quote, by ee cummings:

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

Reading this quote makes it apparent to me that ee cummings wasn't given to staying up all night drinking, for wasted nights can lead only to wasted days. A hammering headache and a hangover from Hell, you don't want to get out of bed unless it's to puke -- and even then you'd be better off just keeping a trash can by your side.

There's my one cent (sorry, you don't get two in this economy).

It's just another Manic Monday.

Actually, it's my first so-called "Manic Monday" - yes, I've found another meme to complete. This one is a brief set of questions, so I figured I'd do them while I had momentum (and, since it's just after midnight, I've got a crazy early start on Monday). I lifted these questions from this blog. Aaaaaaand....cue the questions.

Are you a saver or spender?
If I earned a more substantial income, I would definitely be a saver. As it is, though, I normally end up dipping into whatever savings I have just to scrape by. Once I finally obtain A Real Career(tm), I look forward to setting aside money in interest-bearing accounts. I might even try my hand at the stock market - I'm tempted to buy now while stocks are low. They can't all stay down forever...or can they?

Do you prefer to walk around barefoot in your home? Socks? Shoes?
I usually have socks or house shoes on, because my house has cold hardwood and tile floors. I swear, even in summer that floor is so cold that we could probably turn a nice profit dishing out marble slab ice cream from the kitchen (if the tile weren't so repulsively filthy). I'll be moving out in a few months, at which point the answer to this question will change: barefoot indeed. I will have carpet then, and no need therefore to constrict my feet and ankles with socks. I like to freetoe it, if you know what I mean.

Do you talk to yourself?
Errr...yes. On a daily basis. I think it's a perfectly normal thing to do, though. It helps you evaluate and reassure yourself - or even to learn things about yourself that you thought you already knew. Also, by speaking the thoughts you are effectively actualizing them, because they have been produced in reality as sound waves, your voice. Your brain is more likely to recall something real than something imagined.


(By the way - if you like what you read, click a few of those annoying Google ads I've got posted around my blog. Pity a poor college kid with a simple click or two of the mouse. I do get a few breadcrumbs here and there; in a year[ish] I've earned maybe $3. I can earn a less laughable amount with a bit of audience participation, which would inspire me to write more, which would inspire you to read more, and a nice little cycle starts. So please click - otherwise I'll have to return to the town square with my organ-grinding monkey. And trust me, it's not as awesome as it sounds. I have the scars to prove it.)